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I was going to post something utterly different today, should I have time to post, but I've been reading these things about Technology of the Future and how the trend is toward more voice-recognition-command stuff-- you know, you tell your phone to walk your dog AND IT DOES and so forth. Now, sometimes when people talk about Technology of the Future it sounds kind of creepy and soul-killing and brave-new-world; but this theory--not so much theory as THIS IS WHAT IS BEING DEVELOPED-- fills me with an entirely different sort of dread: a my-lord-tech-developers-how-can-you-be-so-ANNOYING dread.
I already HAVE this problem, when you get those phone trees that want you to speak your answers and don't give you the option to push buttons? Look, speaking out loud to a phone tree does not give me the friendly sensation of interacting with a human being! It's not fooling anybody! Instead it makes me feel self-conscious, and annoyed that I could be waking the kids from their nap (this of course assumes that they're actually NAPPING, but it's the principle of the thing), and curious if this is discriminatory against people with thick accents or laryngitis and if I can file suit, and I JUST WANT TO PUSH THE BUTTONS AND GET IT OVER WITH!
This may not be obvious to those of you who only know me from the Internet, because I can't seem to shut up here, but I actually have a dread fear of opening my mouth. Okay, POSSIBLY that is an exaggeration: I do love to sing, and I used to have a radio show for cripes sake (also: I was awesome at it), and I will read aloud and give tours to groups and stand onstage directing preschoolers in blockbuster productions of "The Three Little Pigs" (I haven't done that it in a long time, but I WOULD)... but in general everyday interactions, I'm ...a very quiet person. Unless I bump something, or almost bump something, or something falls down near me, in which case I will yell "OW!" But I HATE having to speak when I could just as easily NOT speak. I LIKE just pushing buttons to get whatever effect I want. It's quieter! If you want me to communicate with my appliances in a LOUD fashion, you will have to develop technology that runs on Zeppelin samples or something.
I mean I'm sure OTHER people find talking to machines SO much easier than pushing buttons. I imagine for some people it's a lifesaver. As long as you allow the OPTION of NOT using voice commands! I don't mind the phone trees that say "Say yes OR press 1!" It's the ones that just say "Say Yes," and you stubbornly push 1 on the off-chance that that works, and it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you please repeat that?" and you groan, and it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you please repeat that?" again, and you say, "CAN I PUSH A BUTTON?!" even though this is a whole five syllables more than "Yes" anyway, and it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you please repeat that?" and you cry aloud in agony, and then it says, "Please hold for the next available representative," and you say "BUT I JUST WANTED TO PUSH A BUTTON!"
This could be something that just happens with me. But still.
I already HAVE this problem, when you get those phone trees that want you to speak your answers and don't give you the option to push buttons? Look, speaking out loud to a phone tree does not give me the friendly sensation of interacting with a human being! It's not fooling anybody! Instead it makes me feel self-conscious, and annoyed that I could be waking the kids from their nap (this of course assumes that they're actually NAPPING, but it's the principle of the thing), and curious if this is discriminatory against people with thick accents or laryngitis and if I can file suit, and I JUST WANT TO PUSH THE BUTTONS AND GET IT OVER WITH!
This may not be obvious to those of you who only know me from the Internet, because I can't seem to shut up here, but I actually have a dread fear of opening my mouth. Okay, POSSIBLY that is an exaggeration: I do love to sing, and I used to have a radio show for cripes sake (also: I was awesome at it), and I will read aloud and give tours to groups and stand onstage directing preschoolers in blockbuster productions of "The Three Little Pigs" (I haven't done that it in a long time, but I WOULD)... but in general everyday interactions, I'm ...a very quiet person. Unless I bump something, or almost bump something, or something falls down near me, in which case I will yell "OW!" But I HATE having to speak when I could just as easily NOT speak. I LIKE just pushing buttons to get whatever effect I want. It's quieter! If you want me to communicate with my appliances in a LOUD fashion, you will have to develop technology that runs on Zeppelin samples or something.
I mean I'm sure OTHER people find talking to machines SO much easier than pushing buttons. I imagine for some people it's a lifesaver. As long as you allow the OPTION of NOT using voice commands! I don't mind the phone trees that say "Say yes OR press 1!" It's the ones that just say "Say Yes," and you stubbornly push 1 on the off-chance that that works, and it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you please repeat that?" and you groan, and it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you please repeat that?" again, and you say, "CAN I PUSH A BUTTON?!" even though this is a whole five syllables more than "Yes" anyway, and it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you please repeat that?" and you cry aloud in agony, and then it says, "Please hold for the next available representative," and you say "BUT I JUST WANTED TO PUSH A BUTTON!"
This could be something that just happens with me. But still.
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Date: 2011-12-20 01:23 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 12:51 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 04:50 pm (UTC)From:Otherwise, tell me your business and let me get off the phone.
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Date: 2011-12-21 01:13 am (UTC)From: