Miscellaneaarts' point about the TRUCEconf was also extremely compelling, I thought. It's like, when one group -- ok, let's say exploited workers to take it out of the race dialogue -- has tried and tried rational dialogue for decades, and been unfairly and brutally thwarted, beaten up, demonized, etc. by the more powerful opponent (which incidentally rarely had any consequences for illegal actions, due to privilege, while the less privileged faced outrageously overblown consequences for trumped-up charges), then the workers' group resorted to expressions of anger or even "fighting back," some would be quick to blame them for their actions and call for a civilized sit-down or "rational dialogue." In the case of clearly unequal power and clearly unequal consequences for actions, what would make the workers think that such a parley would be anything other than another humiliating run-around? In other words, the "tone argument," in my opinion, is in resistance to a shaming practice ("These words, this way of putting it, is BAD") that hides unequal and often violent power dynamics.
In short, I believe people SHOULD be encouraged to express anger if that's what they're feeling and that's what they want to express! I express a lot of anger toward what I see as oppressive social structures that impact different people differently based on interlocking axes of privilege.
BUT, I don't generally think it's a GOOD idea to call people names or personally insult them!!! I am EXACTLY of the same mind re Justin Bieber and all related comments. And the point about what if you were a suicidal person and that last comment put you over the line ... oh my goodness, exactly!!! That would be a horrible outcome and I'm glad it didn't happen, and that is a very good reason for everyone treating each other with kindness! I'm in favor of kind idealists, also. I'm in favor of encouraging others to be their best selves. That's my vision for the world.
And I see that people respond to things differently based on their personality and past experiences, their level of fed-up or hurt -- grownup or not, everyone can snap sometimes, and I am not going to be the one "rationally explaining" why it's a bad idea to snap at someone, at least not if I can see how they might have gotten to that point. Unless *I* am having a bad day and a series of people gave me shit for my identity or values, or for trying to speak my truth -- then I might snap at someone. And then I would probably feel very bad about it later, but they might have been a stranger and I might have no way to apologize.
This probably came out sounding awful; I mean ABSOLUTELY NO criticism of YOU by ANY MINUTE PART of it -- I'm just expanding on some dialogues I've been having lately about this type of thing, and if it's utterly unhelpful then please delete it -- I promise I will not be offended. And I probably maxed out on characters again so this may come up in two parts, too. I miss you! I sure do wish we lived closer or weren't such crappy phone callers. I'd like to hang out with you a whole lot more.
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chiming
Possibly Useless Ramblings Part 2
Date: 2014-02-15 08:02 pm (UTC)From:In short, I believe people SHOULD be encouraged to express anger if that's what they're feeling and that's what they want to express! I express a lot of anger toward what I see as oppressive social structures that impact different people differently based on interlocking axes of privilege.
BUT, I don't generally think it's a GOOD idea to call people names or personally insult them!!! I am EXACTLY of the same mind re Justin Bieber and all related comments. And the point about what if you were a suicidal person and that last comment put you over the line ... oh my goodness, exactly!!! That would be a horrible outcome and I'm glad it didn't happen, and that is a very good reason for everyone treating each other with kindness! I'm in favor of kind idealists, also. I'm in favor of encouraging others to be their best selves. That's my vision for the world.
And I see that people respond to things differently based on their personality and past experiences, their level of fed-up or hurt -- grownup or not, everyone can snap sometimes, and I am not going to be the one "rationally explaining" why it's a bad idea to snap at someone, at least not if I can see how they might have gotten to that point. Unless *I* am having a bad day and a series of people gave me shit for my identity or values, or for trying to speak my truth -- then I might snap at someone. And then I would probably feel very bad about it later, but they might have been a stranger and I might have no way to apologize.
This probably came out sounding awful; I mean ABSOLUTELY NO criticism of YOU by ANY MINUTE PART of it -- I'm just expanding on some dialogues I've been having lately about this type of thing, and if it's utterly unhelpful then please delete it -- I promise I will not be offended. And I probably maxed out on characters again so this may come up in two parts, too. I miss you! I sure do wish we lived closer or weren't such crappy phone callers. I'd like to hang out with you a whole lot more.
Love,
Ang