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The gals at GeekMom, which I believe I have mentioned is my new favorite non-strictly-book-related blog, really know how to make a fellow geeky mom feel NOT ALONE in the universe. This week they have been all freely admitting that they tend to fall madly in love with fictional characters. When I first saw this post, I knew I had to make yet a different literary favorites list before I could get back to my List of Favorite Books. See, said blogger above has written a whole song about FICTIONAL CRUSHES. Of course, she goes on to talk all about BAD BOY fictional crushes. I don't get crushes on the bad boys. Never have. Not counting overgrown troublemakers like my husband. No, I always went for sweet-and-sensitive. It's kind of pathetic. I also go for guys with a sense of humor, so that makes it a LITTLE less disgusting, I guess.
Then someone else over there posted this, a list much closer to my own. And today there's another one! I still think mine is the sappiest though. Also, the other lists cover, broadly, not only books but also movie and TV and whathaveyou characters. I am sticking to book characters, because it's simpler, and doesn't confuse matters with what might actually be my feelings for the actors themselves rather than the characters. And I also must point out that my list is about these characters purely as they are in book form, not movie versions, because that would TOTALLY put this list out of whack (I'm pretty sure two of them have never appeared in film before nor are in the works to, and one more is GOING to be appearing in film soon but I don't think he's been cast yet, and even when he is there's that, um, AGE ISSUE. Two more of those I know very WELL have been portrayed on film but I have somehow not yet MANAGED TO SEE THEM even though I dearly wanted to when they were on PBS a couple years ago. Of the ones left over I see-- TWO whose most well-known film versions I find every bit as crushworthy as their paper forms, and one who's been portrayed on film a frickin' LOT of times but only two of those portrayals I still swoon for and as I also already have crushes on both actors in question I'm not sure how trustworthy that is. The rest-- just no).
Also, one more caveat before I begin: this is not a list of my favorite CHARACTERS. As a matter of fact, my #3 has got at LEAST three other characters in his own story that I'd put before him on a Favorite Character list, including the character I NAMED MY SON AFTER, so you see what I mean. These are, on the other hand, the Top Ten Characters Who Turn Me Into a Blubbering Pile of Feminine Goo. Well, sometimes I'm calmer than that. Sometimes.
1.Calvin O'Keefe (Madeleine L'Engle)--who fluctuates between being number one and being off the list entirely. I still say he was merely projecting his crush on an older (married) woman by hitting on her nerdy daughter in the first place, but he can be forgiven for that, since OBVIOUSLY after they go off battling evil across the universe and learning to communicate telepathically with each other, THEN his feelings are true. And he's noble, and brave, and the world's leading authority on starfish regeneration, and all around the world's greatest (fictional) guy. This is why he often ends up off the list entirely. Because he's just so obviously the world's greatest (fictional) guy that it sort of goes without saying. It's like calling the Beatles your favorite band. ...never mind.
2. Rev. Henry Tilney (Jane Austen)-- Gads, Henry Tilney needs a fan club. As funny as all Austen's books are, how is it that Henry Tilney is the only one of her heroes with a genuinely active sense of humor himself? Henry Tilney is the perfect example of the Guy Who Can Make You Laugh perfect guy everyone wants. Also he's kind and sensible and smart. I HAVE seen people argue that Northanger Abbey isn't a good romance because Catherine Morland isn't an equal match for Henry Tilney, but THAT'S MY POINT. Who IS an equal match for Henry Tilney?! Because he's AWESOME! And I would totally marry him, much more than that grumpy Mr. Darcy.
3. Faramir, son of Denethor, steward of Gondor (J.R.R. Tolkien)-- yes, perfect example of me getting sappy over the sensitive guy with Daddy Issues and a deep sense of nobility, who falls in love with the Awesome Warrior Woman who's too busy mooning over the unattainable Lost Heir type to notice at first and you're all like, "AWWWWW, how can you NOT fall in love with him?!?!" Yeah, the first embarrassingly sappy entry on the list, but that doesn't keep me from proclaiming it loudly whenever the subject comes up.
4. Peeta Mellark (Suzanne Collins)-- The, uh, most recent addition to the list, and he's all the way up here at number four. I don't know how someone can have so much CHARISMA (in both typical and Dungeons-and-Dragons-Attributes sense of the word) on a written page, but he pulls it off. And even though he's got this serious why-have-you-been-madly-in-love-with-a-girl-you-barely-know-since-you-were-frickin'-five-years-old issue to begin with, and he's half my age when I first encountered him, I still got suckered in. I went into book three calmly convinced of his imminent doom, totally nonchalant, and his first appearance in the book is (I don't think this is spoilery, unless you count the fact that he's in book 3 at all spoilery for the first two books, but you probably should have picked up on that by now) NOT EVEN IN PERSON. IT'S ON TV. HE SAID ONE LINE, ON TV, and I totally fell for him all over again, INSTANTLY. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW. I know, devoted, brave, noble, FRICKIN' charismatic, and oh yeah, there's that whole Bakes Marvelous Pastries thing, too.
5. Gilbert Blythe (L.M. Montgomery) --perhaps I'm going out on a limb to suggest that this is Everyone's First Fictional Crush, and to be honest I'm not sure I CAN separate him from the film version, which I saw before I developed libido, and so was already coloring my perceptions when CRUSHNESS first developed. There's something about rivals-turned-friends that is perennially swoon-worthy, and Gilbert is so... NORMAL, while at the same time being smart and funny and friggin' cute. Who doesn't spend the whole of Anne of the Island and probably most of Anne of Avonlea... AND possibly even back in ...Green Gables, though it's most obviously problematic in ...the Island, screaming "ANNE! YOU IDIOT! PERFECT GUY! RIGHT THERE! ALL ALONG! TOTALLY WANTS YOU! THIS DOESN'T NEED TO TURN INTO A TERRIBLE DEATH-BED EPIPHANY!" but of course she doesn't listen to you anyway. YOU would have listened to you.
6. Chrestomanci, formerly known as Christopher Chant (Diana Wynne Jones) -- sure, most women will cite his stunning looks and impeccible taste in clothing, but that isn't what does it for me. Others might mention his total CONTROL OF WHATEVER SITUATION, his cool brilliance, his phenomenal power, his general awesomeness, and here I do agree. But what really knocks me out? That biting, dry, completely-straight-faced-and-yet-so-ridiculous WIT. The guy is a comic genius, and no one ever gives him credit for it because they're too busy being intimidated by him! Also, you have to admit, there IS that LEEETLE bit of insecurity WAAAY deep down which adds so much, um, NUANCE. And he knows how to turn on the flirt to control people, but has totally been devotedly in love with his wife since he was like twelve. But did I mention that biting dry wit?
7. The Arm (Nancy Farmer)-- The EPITOME of the Sensitive Guy. In fact, his whole REASON FOR BEING is that he is an Extremely Sensitive Guy, in every possible way. I'm willing to bet he is the least well-known character on this list, so I probably have to say "GO, read The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm RIGHT NOW, I DARE you not to fall in love with him." If you are attracted to Sensitive Guys. There is no way he could be MORE of a Sensitive Guy. But STRONG AND BRAVE, too, not a wuss or anything. HE ADOPTS AN ABANDONED BABY. That may be a bit of a spoiler, but I'm just trying to get my point across.
8. Dr. John Watson (Arthur Conan Doyle) -- See, another perfect example of why this isn't a Favorite Characters list. I think Sherlock Holmes is one of the most FASCINATING characters in literature. He's also a manic-depressive drug-addicted woman-hating NUTJOB so this does not scream out "crushworthy" to me. His dear friend and associate, on the other hand, I love for his very Not-Holmesiness. My heart truly belongs to the ones who PUT UP with the nutjob characters, the sensible types who are the only ones brave enough-- or just respected enough-- to keep the nutjobs in line (this is also why I have more of a crush on Sophie than on Howl. I should do a list of my girl-crush characters someday too). I like that, while everyone else is just blown away by the brilliant Sherlock Holmes, Watson's the only one who can get away with saying stuff like "You could at least TRY to be polite occasionally" or "Lay off the drugs, they're bad for you" or "YOU ARE SUCH A FREAKING ROBOT" (not an exact quote, as they weren't using the word "robot" in the 1880s, but he does call him an automation so technically it works) or "Some of us have LIVES, you kn... oh, did you say 'possibly dangerous mystery?' On my way."
9. Captain Frederick Wentworth (Jane Austen) --granted, Captain Wentworth is not the most interesting of Austen's heroes, well-rounded personality-wise, but he's so PASSIONATE AND ROMANTIC AND SWOON-WORTHY that he's going to sneak his way onto this list, anyway, isn't he. I am not a romance-lover. I like my romances mixed in with other genres, and even then I like them funny and full of banter and light on the passion. But there is one passionate romance that I adore, and this is it. Captain WENTWORTH is it. Captain Wentworth, sitting in the corner, writing that LETTER, LET US ALL JUST FAINT RIGHT NOW THINKING ABOUT IT.
10. (sort of tie) Professor Remus Lupin (J.K. Rowling) --He's one of the few teachers at Hogwarts who ACTUALLY USES INNOVATIVE AND PROVEN TEACHING TECHNIQUES... while he's there. Besides that, he's kind and troubled and clever and he gives you chocolate when you're sad. Unfortunately, this one comes with a stipulation: only Lupin in books 3-6 gets the Crushworthy Stamp. I don't know what happened to him in book 7, but he GOT WEIRD. I do not have a crush on paranoid miserable lousy-husband Lupin! He is nearly as bad as movie-Lupin! So, I really floundered over this choice, whether his awesome crushworthiness in the rest of the books balances out his complete lack-thereof at the end enough that he still makes the list, so I'm pulling up an alternative #10:
Ford Prefect (Douglas Adams) -- which probably sets off my Total Dork Alarm by saying so, but there is something about someone who can be so OPTIMISTICALLY ENTHUSIASTIC in the face of, you know, the destruction of an entire planet that is just ENDEARING to me.
There are a couple others who may have nearly made the list but I wasn't quite sure about, but that will do for now. My geekiness needs to have SOME boundaries.
Then someone else over there posted this, a list much closer to my own. And today there's another one! I still think mine is the sappiest though. Also, the other lists cover, broadly, not only books but also movie and TV and whathaveyou characters. I am sticking to book characters, because it's simpler, and doesn't confuse matters with what might actually be my feelings for the actors themselves rather than the characters. And I also must point out that my list is about these characters purely as they are in book form, not movie versions, because that would TOTALLY put this list out of whack (I'm pretty sure two of them have never appeared in film before nor are in the works to, and one more is GOING to be appearing in film soon but I don't think he's been cast yet, and even when he is there's that, um, AGE ISSUE. Two more of those I know very WELL have been portrayed on film but I have somehow not yet MANAGED TO SEE THEM even though I dearly wanted to when they were on PBS a couple years ago. Of the ones left over I see-- TWO whose most well-known film versions I find every bit as crushworthy as their paper forms, and one who's been portrayed on film a frickin' LOT of times but only two of those portrayals I still swoon for and as I also already have crushes on both actors in question I'm not sure how trustworthy that is. The rest-- just no).
Also, one more caveat before I begin: this is not a list of my favorite CHARACTERS. As a matter of fact, my #3 has got at LEAST three other characters in his own story that I'd put before him on a Favorite Character list, including the character I NAMED MY SON AFTER, so you see what I mean. These are, on the other hand, the Top Ten Characters Who Turn Me Into a Blubbering Pile of Feminine Goo. Well, sometimes I'm calmer than that. Sometimes.
1.Calvin O'Keefe (Madeleine L'Engle)--who fluctuates between being number one and being off the list entirely. I still say he was merely projecting his crush on an older (married) woman by hitting on her nerdy daughter in the first place, but he can be forgiven for that, since OBVIOUSLY after they go off battling evil across the universe and learning to communicate telepathically with each other, THEN his feelings are true. And he's noble, and brave, and the world's leading authority on starfish regeneration, and all around the world's greatest (fictional) guy. This is why he often ends up off the list entirely. Because he's just so obviously the world's greatest (fictional) guy that it sort of goes without saying. It's like calling the Beatles your favorite band. ...never mind.
2. Rev. Henry Tilney (Jane Austen)-- Gads, Henry Tilney needs a fan club. As funny as all Austen's books are, how is it that Henry Tilney is the only one of her heroes with a genuinely active sense of humor himself? Henry Tilney is the perfect example of the Guy Who Can Make You Laugh perfect guy everyone wants. Also he's kind and sensible and smart. I HAVE seen people argue that Northanger Abbey isn't a good romance because Catherine Morland isn't an equal match for Henry Tilney, but THAT'S MY POINT. Who IS an equal match for Henry Tilney?! Because he's AWESOME! And I would totally marry him, much more than that grumpy Mr. Darcy.
3. Faramir, son of Denethor, steward of Gondor (J.R.R. Tolkien)-- yes, perfect example of me getting sappy over the sensitive guy with Daddy Issues and a deep sense of nobility, who falls in love with the Awesome Warrior Woman who's too busy mooning over the unattainable Lost Heir type to notice at first and you're all like, "AWWWWW, how can you NOT fall in love with him?!?!" Yeah, the first embarrassingly sappy entry on the list, but that doesn't keep me from proclaiming it loudly whenever the subject comes up.
4. Peeta Mellark (Suzanne Collins)-- The, uh, most recent addition to the list, and he's all the way up here at number four. I don't know how someone can have so much CHARISMA (in both typical and Dungeons-and-Dragons-Attributes sense of the word) on a written page, but he pulls it off. And even though he's got this serious why-have-you-been-madly-in-love-with-a-girl-you-barely-know-since-you-were-frickin'-five-years-old issue to begin with, and he's half my age when I first encountered him, I still got suckered in. I went into book three calmly convinced of his imminent doom, totally nonchalant, and his first appearance in the book is (I don't think this is spoilery, unless you count the fact that he's in book 3 at all spoilery for the first two books, but you probably should have picked up on that by now) NOT EVEN IN PERSON. IT'S ON TV. HE SAID ONE LINE, ON TV, and I totally fell for him all over again, INSTANTLY. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW. I know, devoted, brave, noble, FRICKIN' charismatic, and oh yeah, there's that whole Bakes Marvelous Pastries thing, too.
5. Gilbert Blythe (L.M. Montgomery) --perhaps I'm going out on a limb to suggest that this is Everyone's First Fictional Crush, and to be honest I'm not sure I CAN separate him from the film version, which I saw before I developed libido, and so was already coloring my perceptions when CRUSHNESS first developed. There's something about rivals-turned-friends that is perennially swoon-worthy, and Gilbert is so... NORMAL, while at the same time being smart and funny and friggin' cute. Who doesn't spend the whole of Anne of the Island and probably most of Anne of Avonlea... AND possibly even back in ...Green Gables, though it's most obviously problematic in ...the Island, screaming "ANNE! YOU IDIOT! PERFECT GUY! RIGHT THERE! ALL ALONG! TOTALLY WANTS YOU! THIS DOESN'T NEED TO TURN INTO A TERRIBLE DEATH-BED EPIPHANY!" but of course she doesn't listen to you anyway. YOU would have listened to you.
6. Chrestomanci, formerly known as Christopher Chant (Diana Wynne Jones) -- sure, most women will cite his stunning looks and impeccible taste in clothing, but that isn't what does it for me. Others might mention his total CONTROL OF WHATEVER SITUATION, his cool brilliance, his phenomenal power, his general awesomeness, and here I do agree. But what really knocks me out? That biting, dry, completely-straight-faced-and-yet-so-ridiculous WIT. The guy is a comic genius, and no one ever gives him credit for it because they're too busy being intimidated by him! Also, you have to admit, there IS that LEEETLE bit of insecurity WAAAY deep down which adds so much, um, NUANCE. And he knows how to turn on the flirt to control people, but has totally been devotedly in love with his wife since he was like twelve. But did I mention that biting dry wit?
7. The Arm (Nancy Farmer)-- The EPITOME of the Sensitive Guy. In fact, his whole REASON FOR BEING is that he is an Extremely Sensitive Guy, in every possible way. I'm willing to bet he is the least well-known character on this list, so I probably have to say "GO, read The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm RIGHT NOW, I DARE you not to fall in love with him." If you are attracted to Sensitive Guys. There is no way he could be MORE of a Sensitive Guy. But STRONG AND BRAVE, too, not a wuss or anything. HE ADOPTS AN ABANDONED BABY. That may be a bit of a spoiler, but I'm just trying to get my point across.
8. Dr. John Watson (Arthur Conan Doyle) -- See, another perfect example of why this isn't a Favorite Characters list. I think Sherlock Holmes is one of the most FASCINATING characters in literature. He's also a manic-depressive drug-addicted woman-hating NUTJOB so this does not scream out "crushworthy" to me. His dear friend and associate, on the other hand, I love for his very Not-Holmesiness. My heart truly belongs to the ones who PUT UP with the nutjob characters, the sensible types who are the only ones brave enough-- or just respected enough-- to keep the nutjobs in line (this is also why I have more of a crush on Sophie than on Howl. I should do a list of my girl-crush characters someday too). I like that, while everyone else is just blown away by the brilliant Sherlock Holmes, Watson's the only one who can get away with saying stuff like "You could at least TRY to be polite occasionally" or "Lay off the drugs, they're bad for you" or "YOU ARE SUCH A FREAKING ROBOT" (not an exact quote, as they weren't using the word "robot" in the 1880s, but he does call him an automation so technically it works) or "Some of us have LIVES, you kn... oh, did you say 'possibly dangerous mystery?' On my way."
9. Captain Frederick Wentworth (Jane Austen) --granted, Captain Wentworth is not the most interesting of Austen's heroes, well-rounded personality-wise, but he's so PASSIONATE AND ROMANTIC AND SWOON-WORTHY that he's going to sneak his way onto this list, anyway, isn't he. I am not a romance-lover. I like my romances mixed in with other genres, and even then I like them funny and full of banter and light on the passion. But there is one passionate romance that I adore, and this is it. Captain WENTWORTH is it. Captain Wentworth, sitting in the corner, writing that LETTER, LET US ALL JUST FAINT RIGHT NOW THINKING ABOUT IT.
10. (sort of tie) Professor Remus Lupin (J.K. Rowling) --He's one of the few teachers at Hogwarts who ACTUALLY USES INNOVATIVE AND PROVEN TEACHING TECHNIQUES... while he's there. Besides that, he's kind and troubled and clever and he gives you chocolate when you're sad. Unfortunately, this one comes with a stipulation: only Lupin in books 3-6 gets the Crushworthy Stamp. I don't know what happened to him in book 7, but he GOT WEIRD. I do not have a crush on paranoid miserable lousy-husband Lupin! He is nearly as bad as movie-Lupin! So, I really floundered over this choice, whether his awesome crushworthiness in the rest of the books balances out his complete lack-thereof at the end enough that he still makes the list, so I'm pulling up an alternative #10:
Ford Prefect (Douglas Adams) -- which probably sets off my Total Dork Alarm by saying so, but there is something about someone who can be so OPTIMISTICALLY ENTHUSIASTIC in the face of, you know, the destruction of an entire planet that is just ENDEARING to me.
There are a couple others who may have nearly made the list but I wasn't quite sure about, but that will do for now. My geekiness needs to have SOME boundaries.
