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Rules of Life That I (Used To?) Know
Jun. 21st, 2012 03:06 pmBecause it used to be the Office, I'd left stuff on the high shelves in Maddie's room that was not necessarily hers, most notably my journals from 7th grade on. Because she's taken to climbing and also throwing things on the floor, I looked up at the now messily-balanced stack and decided that the notebooks (my primary journals from college to the present, rather than the bound book journals), at least, ought to be moved, so I grabbed the pile on my way out the door at naptime. I flipped open a small red notebook I'd bought in my grad-school bookstore—making it, on average, ten years old, and noticed that the last two pages were a list.
It was titled "Rules of Life that I Know."
I was gathering them in one place because, heck, I needed them. I was a young adult in the literal (not library) sense—just trying to figure out how to make my way in life. And I was awkward and shy and prone to depression and my great skill at Taking Tests that had gotten me successfully through my school days turned out to be useless in real life.
Anyway, I've internalized most of these rules, in theory, but I still need to be reminded of them. And I think, "Did I really know that then, ten years ago, and I still don't remember to follow it?" So I'm going to retype them for you here. Thank you, me ten years ago, for sharing your thoughts with us today.
Rules of Life that I Know
1. Always say hello and smile at people you see, because that could be the only smile they get all day*—and who knows where THAT will go.
2. If you want people to react, you must first ACT. Write the first letter, make the first call, make the first MOVE.
3. Stories are easier to believe than bold facts.
4. Pray always.
5.Choose life, whenever given a choice.
6. By the way, there's ALWAYS a choice.
7. Being stingy can be just as wasteful as being wasteful.
8. Don't be afraid to rest.
9. Don't be afraid, period. Watch your step, but don't fear it.
10. Take a little bit of time each day to read, a little bit to write, a little bit to blast loud music and sing along.
11. Sing if you feel like it.
12. Refrain from making decisions on too-little sleep.
13. Make lists to organize your plans. But don't spend so much time on the list that you forget to do what it says.
14. When conversing—or arguing—repeat what the other person says in your own words before replying. That's how you teach yourself to listen.
15. Share your knowledge, but only when the conversation is actually about the thing you know.
16. There is no reason not to tell someone you're grateful for them. Not even if they don't know you exist.
17. Oh, and don't put off telling them, either. Tell them right away, or it WILL be too late. **
18. Remember birthdays. Send a note. Doesn't even have to be fancy, just as long as you remember.***
19. Trust what you know, not what you hear.
20. Don't try to convince anyone of anything while you're emotional.
21. Speak only what you know to be true.
22. Deep breaths can be calming, if you're in danger of crying.
23. Just because people are your friends does not guarantee that they will get along with each other.
And that's all I've got. There's nothing particularly significant about 23 rules, nor does the last one sound like the Last Word to anything, but that's the list.
I'm not sure I'd make the same list today, but that's what's so nice about it. Because this way I can learn from it myself, a decade later. I can ruminate on these things and see what they mean for me, now.
Like, for example, now I must complete #17, because I decided to do it before bed last night for this particular person and haven't actually sat down and done so yet. I must before the kids come down and jump me.
---
*This was, of course, my grandfather's saying, as I've mentioned.
**Numbers 16 and 17 were obviously a direct reference to George Harrison dying before I sent his fan letter, which had just happened at this time.
***I used to be SO MUCH BETTER AT THIS. I was the QUEEN of it, even. I’m a bit more scatterbrained about it now.
It was titled "Rules of Life that I Know."
I was gathering them in one place because, heck, I needed them. I was a young adult in the literal (not library) sense—just trying to figure out how to make my way in life. And I was awkward and shy and prone to depression and my great skill at Taking Tests that had gotten me successfully through my school days turned out to be useless in real life.
Anyway, I've internalized most of these rules, in theory, but I still need to be reminded of them. And I think, "Did I really know that then, ten years ago, and I still don't remember to follow it?" So I'm going to retype them for you here. Thank you, me ten years ago, for sharing your thoughts with us today.
Rules of Life that I Know
1. Always say hello and smile at people you see, because that could be the only smile they get all day*—and who knows where THAT will go.
2. If you want people to react, you must first ACT. Write the first letter, make the first call, make the first MOVE.
3. Stories are easier to believe than bold facts.
4. Pray always.
5.Choose life, whenever given a choice.
6. By the way, there's ALWAYS a choice.
7. Being stingy can be just as wasteful as being wasteful.
8. Don't be afraid to rest.
9. Don't be afraid, period. Watch your step, but don't fear it.
10. Take a little bit of time each day to read, a little bit to write, a little bit to blast loud music and sing along.
11. Sing if you feel like it.
12. Refrain from making decisions on too-little sleep.
13. Make lists to organize your plans. But don't spend so much time on the list that you forget to do what it says.
14. When conversing—or arguing—repeat what the other person says in your own words before replying. That's how you teach yourself to listen.
15. Share your knowledge, but only when the conversation is actually about the thing you know.
16. There is no reason not to tell someone you're grateful for them. Not even if they don't know you exist.
17. Oh, and don't put off telling them, either. Tell them right away, or it WILL be too late. **
18. Remember birthdays. Send a note. Doesn't even have to be fancy, just as long as you remember.***
19. Trust what you know, not what you hear.
20. Don't try to convince anyone of anything while you're emotional.
21. Speak only what you know to be true.
22. Deep breaths can be calming, if you're in danger of crying.
23. Just because people are your friends does not guarantee that they will get along with each other.
And that's all I've got. There's nothing particularly significant about 23 rules, nor does the last one sound like the Last Word to anything, but that's the list.
I'm not sure I'd make the same list today, but that's what's so nice about it. Because this way I can learn from it myself, a decade later. I can ruminate on these things and see what they mean for me, now.
Like, for example, now I must complete #17, because I decided to do it before bed last night for this particular person and haven't actually sat down and done so yet. I must before the kids come down and jump me.
---
*This was, of course, my grandfather's saying, as I've mentioned.
**Numbers 16 and 17 were obviously a direct reference to George Harrison dying before I sent his fan letter, which had just happened at this time.
***I used to be SO MUCH BETTER AT THIS. I was the QUEEN of it, even. I’m a bit more scatterbrained about it now.
