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I'm typing this post to stave off apathy. I'm having a terrible problem with apathy lately. Just now I was consolidating all the Best Books of 2011 lists I could find --official ones, not people's personal ones, because that would just take too long-- and I'm glazing over these titles and descriptions thinking "That sounds like something I would have used to like-- back when I liked books like that-- which was, let me see, um, possibly a few months ago." Earlier this summer I suspected this was a bad side effect of antidepressants, but it obviously isn't, because I'm not on antidepressants. Although it COULD be a side effect of me NEEDING to be on antidepressants, just obviously not on whichever antidepressants make it impossible for me to read.
And anyway, it's sad because it's almost time for MY Favorite Books of the Year list, and last year I was SO excited by this prospect and had SO much to write about that my list ended up being really, really, really, and also really, long. But this year, I AM NOT EXCITED ABOUT IT! I may be able to produce only ONE Top Ten list, and that NOT broken into categories such as new books or old books or sequels, because I just DO NOT CARE too much about most of the books I have read!
But NEXT year-- by which I mean, in two 1/2 weeks-- I will have a PROJECT for my blog, in which I will OFTEN and REGULARLY post with MUCH ENTHUSIASM. At least that's what my plan is. I'm hoping I can WORK up an enthusiasm.
I just read this post at Writer's First Aid on how your first step in writing should be to Have a Reason to Write. Well no WONDER I can't write anything, either!
So anyway, I've come to the conclusion that the only cure for my general apathy is to break it on some kind of challenge/project that is TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM USUAL, because I'm too emotionally tied to the idea of writing or reading or whatever to break out of my apathy by force of will alone. I need to build up my self-confidence in some other area of my life and let it run off into the rest of it, but none of the actual current areas of my life are doing the trick, which means the only solution is for me to learn to play rock drums so as I can start my all-girl Beatles Tribute Band, Lovely Rita and the Meter Maids. Really, this is the most simple solution. It does not require me to run away to England or New York City. It does not require a huge amount of child-free time to accomplish. It does not require all that much of a financial investment, for the time being, though I am not sure what happened to the drum sticks I used to have. Let alone, you know, DRUMS. But that's what furniture is for! Also, I believe LESSONS would come in useful. But in all seriousness, I feel learning to play the drums would be a satisfying and affirming accomplishment for me to strive for. If anyone is still struggling to come up with a Christmas present for me, drum lessons might do it. Also new sticks, since I don't know what happened to mine.
Granted, six years of piano lessons as a child didn't make me anywhere near likely to be a decent rock keyboardist, so I can't guarantee SUCCESS in the endeavor, let alone the eventual existence of Lovely Rita and the Meter Maids. But I will GET TO BEAT ON THINGS. And that will be satisfying enough.
Just typing this has made me significantly more cheerful by the end of this post than I was when I started. Hooray for theoretical beating on things!
And anyway, it's sad because it's almost time for MY Favorite Books of the Year list, and last year I was SO excited by this prospect and had SO much to write about that my list ended up being really, really, really, and also really, long. But this year, I AM NOT EXCITED ABOUT IT! I may be able to produce only ONE Top Ten list, and that NOT broken into categories such as new books or old books or sequels, because I just DO NOT CARE too much about most of the books I have read!
But NEXT year-- by which I mean, in two 1/2 weeks-- I will have a PROJECT for my blog, in which I will OFTEN and REGULARLY post with MUCH ENTHUSIASM. At least that's what my plan is. I'm hoping I can WORK up an enthusiasm.
I just read this post at Writer's First Aid on how your first step in writing should be to Have a Reason to Write. Well no WONDER I can't write anything, either!
So anyway, I've come to the conclusion that the only cure for my general apathy is to break it on some kind of challenge/project that is TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM USUAL, because I'm too emotionally tied to the idea of writing or reading or whatever to break out of my apathy by force of will alone. I need to build up my self-confidence in some other area of my life and let it run off into the rest of it, but none of the actual current areas of my life are doing the trick, which means the only solution is for me to learn to play rock drums so as I can start my all-girl Beatles Tribute Band, Lovely Rita and the Meter Maids. Really, this is the most simple solution. It does not require me to run away to England or New York City. It does not require a huge amount of child-free time to accomplish. It does not require all that much of a financial investment, for the time being, though I am not sure what happened to the drum sticks I used to have. Let alone, you know, DRUMS. But that's what furniture is for! Also, I believe LESSONS would come in useful. But in all seriousness, I feel learning to play the drums would be a satisfying and affirming accomplishment for me to strive for. If anyone is still struggling to come up with a Christmas present for me, drum lessons might do it. Also new sticks, since I don't know what happened to mine.
Granted, six years of piano lessons as a child didn't make me anywhere near likely to be a decent rock keyboardist, so I can't guarantee SUCCESS in the endeavor, let alone the eventual existence of Lovely Rita and the Meter Maids. But I will GET TO BEAT ON THINGS. And that will be satisfying enough.
Just typing this has made me significantly more cheerful by the end of this post than I was when I started. Hooray for theoretical beating on things!
