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A Life Well-Lived
Dec. 13th, 2010 05:46 pmI'm going to keep this post public, because it is, after all, a memorial, and even perfect strangers can get something out of it. People on Facebook may have already seen that I posted this link to a really awesome obituary that will leave you feeling both proud and warm and fuzzy. At least it will if you knew the man in question... even if only slightly.
The thing about my Grandpap was that he WAS the sort of person who made an impression on everyone he met. No matter where he went in the country-- the world wouldn't surprise me-- he ran into someone he knew, and maybe it was someone he hadn't seen in decades, or someone he'd only done tree work for once at some point, but he REMEMBERED, and the other people remembered HIM, because when he interacted with other people, it wasn't just on a business level or a strangers-passing-on-the-street level: he saw you, respected you, as a person with your own story. He connected with people.
My mom always ingrained in me something he had taught her: "when you pass someone on the street, smile and say hello, because maybe you're the only friendly face that person will see all day." It's funny, she ALWAYS credited this advice to her father, so much that I associate it as much with him as with her, even though I never heard it from him. But certainly he LIVED it, which is why so many people LOVED him.
Which is why so many people showed up to his memorial service who knew him indirectly -- inlaws of family members (inlaws of inlaws!), friends from far away (two-hour drive for a couple of my parents' good friends who showed up). Which is why the My Name is Earl Final World Tour, as my aunt calls the two memorial services and one proper internment, spans three states.
Don't you want to be someone like that? Someone who has clearly left the world in better shape than when he was given it? Someone who has not only filled a city with beautiful trees, but the hearts of people all over the country with a little more light?
My Grandpap was a Good Person; my parents are, too. I think I'm going to appropriate the term "mensch," because "Good Person" is too vague or easily misconstrued as "Not-Bad Person," without conveying the true VALUE of such people. I can only hope to be like that, but because I am so infuriatingly shy I'm afraid I just pull off "Nice" or at best "Doing No Harm." My SISTER I think carries on the tradition of obviously loving people, of touching hearts of everyone she meets. I can hope my kids grow that way, too: my son is timid like me, but maybe I can help him step out; my daughter is the exact opposite, and so I've always been afraid she'd turn out to be a bully-- but maybe it can go the other way, and she WILL be someone who uses her strength and outgoingness to spread light and love.
So here's to caring, caring about beauty and about people and about being a Light.
The thing about my Grandpap was that he WAS the sort of person who made an impression on everyone he met. No matter where he went in the country-- the world wouldn't surprise me-- he ran into someone he knew, and maybe it was someone he hadn't seen in decades, or someone he'd only done tree work for once at some point, but he REMEMBERED, and the other people remembered HIM, because when he interacted with other people, it wasn't just on a business level or a strangers-passing-on-the-street level: he saw you, respected you, as a person with your own story. He connected with people.
My mom always ingrained in me something he had taught her: "when you pass someone on the street, smile and say hello, because maybe you're the only friendly face that person will see all day." It's funny, she ALWAYS credited this advice to her father, so much that I associate it as much with him as with her, even though I never heard it from him. But certainly he LIVED it, which is why so many people LOVED him.
Which is why so many people showed up to his memorial service who knew him indirectly -- inlaws of family members (inlaws of inlaws!), friends from far away (two-hour drive for a couple of my parents' good friends who showed up). Which is why the My Name is Earl Final World Tour, as my aunt calls the two memorial services and one proper internment, spans three states.
Don't you want to be someone like that? Someone who has clearly left the world in better shape than when he was given it? Someone who has not only filled a city with beautiful trees, but the hearts of people all over the country with a little more light?
My Grandpap was a Good Person; my parents are, too. I think I'm going to appropriate the term "mensch," because "Good Person" is too vague or easily misconstrued as "Not-Bad Person," without conveying the true VALUE of such people. I can only hope to be like that, but because I am so infuriatingly shy I'm afraid I just pull off "Nice" or at best "Doing No Harm." My SISTER I think carries on the tradition of obviously loving people, of touching hearts of everyone she meets. I can hope my kids grow that way, too: my son is timid like me, but maybe I can help him step out; my daughter is the exact opposite, and so I've always been afraid she'd turn out to be a bully-- but maybe it can go the other way, and she WILL be someone who uses her strength and outgoingness to spread light and love.
So here's to caring, caring about beauty and about people and about being a Light.
