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About Christmas Giving
Dec. 22nd, 2007 11:56 amRandom Survey:
When giving gifts, do you think it's important to make gift-giving a fair exchange, giving to people who give to you and giving approximately the same monetary value as what you get? Or should your giving focus just on the recipient and whatever you find that you think is perfect for them that you can afford, and whatever you get, whether or not it is less or more than you gave, you just accept graciously?
I'm afraid I might have biased the questions, because I do lean toward the second. I always tend toward "It's Christmas, buy cool stuff for people, it's fun!" but this year we have no money. INEVITABLY we will get a lot more than we'll be able to give, so THAT certainly doesn't balance out. But even when we DO have money, I love giving Christmas gifts, so THEN I'm all about "I got you something cool! No I don't CARE that you didn't get me anything, just take this!"
But I also see how there's an element of politeness in the first question. I know many people would be just as offended to receive a gift from someone they didn't buy for as they would be to buy a gift for somebody who didn't get them anything. It's hard to tell ahead of time how any of that will work, and exactly which sort of person you're dealing with. This is kind of the thinking between what we have called the "Matviya Family Grab Bag" although my cousin Matt usually reminds us every year that it's not actually a "Grab Bag" it's a "Secret Santa." I know a lot of groups have such a thing-- everyone gets randomly assigned a person to give to, and you get a spending limit. So it's fair, and you don't have to buy for everybody in a large family.
But that's another reason why I prefer the second option, though, because this can take a lot of the fun out of the giving, particularly if the person you get is someone you don't know as well, and you might have had a really great idea for somebody else. It also can suddenly seem kind of pointless, when there's a dollar limit attached. It's suddenly like, well, why doesn't everybody just KEEP their thirty dollars and buy what they really WANT for themselves? Which means I would NEVER get anything cool because I would then feel compelled to save that thirty dollars for groceries. :D So there I go putting my opinion into it again, but I guess this IS MY blog, so it would be silly of me NOT to put my opinion in.
But I am truly curious how other people treat this issue. What's the prevailing feeling out there? How important is a fair exchange to you?
And this has no bearing on whether or not I get anything for you for Christmas, so say whatever your opinion is without fear. I will tell you outright that the only person on my friends list who is getting an actual present from me this year is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
magnolia___, so give or don't give as you see fit!
Excuse my mood tag. I HAVE been feeling depressed the past few days. But that is probably due to the lack of daylight, and any rate has no bearing on the subject of this post. I'm not depressed about retaliation gift giving (as I perhaps accidentally called it in a conversation with my MIL yesterday), that just happens to be my mood right now.
When giving gifts, do you think it's important to make gift-giving a fair exchange, giving to people who give to you and giving approximately the same monetary value as what you get? Or should your giving focus just on the recipient and whatever you find that you think is perfect for them that you can afford, and whatever you get, whether or not it is less or more than you gave, you just accept graciously?
I'm afraid I might have biased the questions, because I do lean toward the second. I always tend toward "It's Christmas, buy cool stuff for people, it's fun!" but this year we have no money. INEVITABLY we will get a lot more than we'll be able to give, so THAT certainly doesn't balance out. But even when we DO have money, I love giving Christmas gifts, so THEN I'm all about "I got you something cool! No I don't CARE that you didn't get me anything, just take this!"
But I also see how there's an element of politeness in the first question. I know many people would be just as offended to receive a gift from someone they didn't buy for as they would be to buy a gift for somebody who didn't get them anything. It's hard to tell ahead of time how any of that will work, and exactly which sort of person you're dealing with. This is kind of the thinking between what we have called the "Matviya Family Grab Bag" although my cousin Matt usually reminds us every year that it's not actually a "Grab Bag" it's a "Secret Santa." I know a lot of groups have such a thing-- everyone gets randomly assigned a person to give to, and you get a spending limit. So it's fair, and you don't have to buy for everybody in a large family.
But that's another reason why I prefer the second option, though, because this can take a lot of the fun out of the giving, particularly if the person you get is someone you don't know as well, and you might have had a really great idea for somebody else. It also can suddenly seem kind of pointless, when there's a dollar limit attached. It's suddenly like, well, why doesn't everybody just KEEP their thirty dollars and buy what they really WANT for themselves? Which means I would NEVER get anything cool because I would then feel compelled to save that thirty dollars for groceries. :D So there I go putting my opinion into it again, but I guess this IS MY blog, so it would be silly of me NOT to put my opinion in.
But I am truly curious how other people treat this issue. What's the prevailing feeling out there? How important is a fair exchange to you?
And this has no bearing on whether or not I get anything for you for Christmas, so say whatever your opinion is without fear. I will tell you outright that the only person on my friends list who is getting an actual present from me this year is
magnolia___, so give or don't give as you see fit!Excuse my mood tag. I HAVE been feeling depressed the past few days. But that is probably due to the lack of daylight, and any rate has no bearing on the subject of this post. I'm not depressed about retaliation gift giving (as I perhaps accidentally called it in a conversation with my MIL yesterday), that just happens to be my mood right now.
