rockinlibrarian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rockinlibrarian) wrote2013-03-13 11:01 pm
rockinlibrarian) wrote2013-03-13 11:01 pm
Entry tags:
On Being a Bad Catholic
All the New Pope* chatter this afternoon suddenly brought to light exactly how odd I am, from a religious perspective. Well, not SUDDENLY-- I KNOW I'm odd from a religious perspective, but it really stuck out today. On one hand you have your non-Catholics-- no, actually more ANTI-Catholics, the ones who see times like this as merely an opportunity for lots of snark. On the other hand you have the devout Catholics, the REALLY INVOLVED ONES, the ones who post how they're praying for the smooth transition on Facebook.
And then there's me, mildly interested but not feeling hugely at stake. And then I read he's going by the name of Francis, and I smile. This is a good sign to me. I feel positive about this. I want to share my pleasure, and I do so, but then I suddenly wonder, "What DO people THINK? How can they get me straight in their heads? Here I am preaching Gay Rights one minute, and now suddenly I'm talking about the New Pope in a serious, positive, non-snarky way? Whose side am I on?" Well, I'm genuinely sorry for your confusion. Sorry because that dualistic way of seeing things... well, it's not me. And you're missing out on loveliness that way.
I am, if you didn't know, a Bad Catholic. Not a LAPSED Catholic. Not a FORMER Catholic. A real, practicing Catholic who isn't quite as Catholic as many people who ARE Good Catholics would think I ought to be. I've always figured my actual beliefs run more Unitarian Universalist, but I'm still most comfortable just being Catholic, so I'm not about to change. There's always preaching going on about "Cafeteria Catholics"-- you CAN'T, they say, pick and choose what you LIKE and DON'T like about the Church's teachings, you gotta take it all, good and bad, if you want to consider yourself a True Believer. Well, I guess I AM a Cafeteria Catholic, and I'll start by being choosy about that whole concept. There's a DIFFERENCE between choosing the doctrines you want to believe in based on your own desires-- "Jesus says to love my enemies, but that's too hard, so I won't" or of course "Adultery is wrong, but I totally AM going to run off with my favorite actor, so there" not that I'd ever contemplate such a thing-- and questioning and rejecting doctrines from an objective standpoint that maybe ought to actually be CHANGED, without rejecting the teachings of Christ. What, if we'd lived in Galileo's time, we were all supposed to reject his discoveries just because the Church did? No, luckily, that was a stand the Church DID eventually change its mind about, and it was because enough people kept questioning it. I am for questioning, protesting, pushing for change in the Church. And I suppose that makes me a heretic. But I can be a heretic and still be a Believer.
But that seems to be a rare state-- or, at least, not enough people who feel that way are willing to speak up about it. You either get Right-Wing You're-all-going-to-Hell-ers or Atheist Religion-is-the-root-of-all-Evil types. They're the loud ones, and they're tricking everyone into thinking they're the only two ways to believe. But there are lots of kinds of belief, and lots of kinds of spirituality, even within religions, even within denominations. I AM a Catholic, even though I don't agree with all other Catholics on every spiritual or religious issue. People judge people, think they know what they believe when they hear the labels, based on what other people with those labels have said or done. I mean, heck, the Church of England was founded because Henry VIII was the worst Cafeteria Catholic of all time-- "Hey, whaddya mean I can't just keep getting rid of my wives when I don't want them anymore? That's it, I'm making my OWN church"-- but that doesn't mean all C of E followers are dumping spouses left and right.
What I'm getting to is this: if you really want to know what I believe, why I consider myself a Christian and a Catholic, let's look at why today's announcement of a Pope Named Francis made me smile:
Because this is the sort of man St. Francis of Assisi was. How can that not make you smile? And more personally, more importantly, there's this, the Prayer of St. Francis:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
That prayer, right there-- whether or not it was really written by St. Francis-- sums up why I am a Christian. That's my spiritual mission statement. That's my personal goal, who I want to BE. I try to live by those words, to live FOR those words.
So let others argue. This is what being a true Christian means to me.
---
*It's like New Coke, but less beverage-like.
And then there's me, mildly interested but not feeling hugely at stake. And then I read he's going by the name of Francis, and I smile. This is a good sign to me. I feel positive about this. I want to share my pleasure, and I do so, but then I suddenly wonder, "What DO people THINK? How can they get me straight in their heads? Here I am preaching Gay Rights one minute, and now suddenly I'm talking about the New Pope in a serious, positive, non-snarky way? Whose side am I on?" Well, I'm genuinely sorry for your confusion. Sorry because that dualistic way of seeing things... well, it's not me. And you're missing out on loveliness that way.
I am, if you didn't know, a Bad Catholic. Not a LAPSED Catholic. Not a FORMER Catholic. A real, practicing Catholic who isn't quite as Catholic as many people who ARE Good Catholics would think I ought to be. I've always figured my actual beliefs run more Unitarian Universalist, but I'm still most comfortable just being Catholic, so I'm not about to change. There's always preaching going on about "Cafeteria Catholics"-- you CAN'T, they say, pick and choose what you LIKE and DON'T like about the Church's teachings, you gotta take it all, good and bad, if you want to consider yourself a True Believer. Well, I guess I AM a Cafeteria Catholic, and I'll start by being choosy about that whole concept. There's a DIFFERENCE between choosing the doctrines you want to believe in based on your own desires-- "Jesus says to love my enemies, but that's too hard, so I won't" or of course "Adultery is wrong, but I totally AM going to run off with my favorite actor, so there" not that I'd ever contemplate such a thing-- and questioning and rejecting doctrines from an objective standpoint that maybe ought to actually be CHANGED, without rejecting the teachings of Christ. What, if we'd lived in Galileo's time, we were all supposed to reject his discoveries just because the Church did? No, luckily, that was a stand the Church DID eventually change its mind about, and it was because enough people kept questioning it. I am for questioning, protesting, pushing for change in the Church. And I suppose that makes me a heretic. But I can be a heretic and still be a Believer.
But that seems to be a rare state-- or, at least, not enough people who feel that way are willing to speak up about it. You either get Right-Wing You're-all-going-to-Hell-ers or Atheist Religion-is-the-root-of-all-Evil types. They're the loud ones, and they're tricking everyone into thinking they're the only two ways to believe. But there are lots of kinds of belief, and lots of kinds of spirituality, even within religions, even within denominations. I AM a Catholic, even though I don't agree with all other Catholics on every spiritual or religious issue. People judge people, think they know what they believe when they hear the labels, based on what other people with those labels have said or done. I mean, heck, the Church of England was founded because Henry VIII was the worst Cafeteria Catholic of all time-- "Hey, whaddya mean I can't just keep getting rid of my wives when I don't want them anymore? That's it, I'm making my OWN church"-- but that doesn't mean all C of E followers are dumping spouses left and right.
What I'm getting to is this: if you really want to know what I believe, why I consider myself a Christian and a Catholic, let's look at why today's announcement of a Pope Named Francis made me smile:
Because this is the sort of man St. Francis of Assisi was. How can that not make you smile? And more personally, more importantly, there's this, the Prayer of St. Francis:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
That prayer, right there-- whether or not it was really written by St. Francis-- sums up why I am a Christian. That's my spiritual mission statement. That's my personal goal, who I want to BE. I try to live by those words, to live FOR those words.
So let others argue. This is what being a true Christian means to me.
---
*It's like New Coke, but less beverage-like.
no subject
Which is to say, as a former Catholic, I definitely recognize not all Catholics meet my expectations (i.e., toeing the Vatican line). Even with that knowledge in hand, though, when someone introduces themselves as Catholic, I assume they are by-the-book-and-Pope until they suggest otherwise. That's kind of the point of individuals gathering under a religious banner; it's opting in, saying you believe as this group does.
I honestly wasn't much aware of the legacy of radical Catholics or the parts of the Church that emphasized social justice until I met Andy at IUP and, later, my half sister. I even wondered for a bit if I could return to the fold at some juncture (so much of a Catholic Mass is still a comfort to me), seeing those radical Catholics as allies. For me, at least, that option dissolved in 2002 and has never been something I could reconsider. In the end, I found a UU church with a pipe organ and a reverend who sings opera, so I guess I found my spiritual home after all. :)
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Yeah, I wish the radicals got more press. It would be eye-opening for many.
I AM a Cafeteria Catholic too
Re: I AM a Cafeteria Catholic too
Re: I AM a Cafeteria Catholic too
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I used to be a much better Catholic. My parents still go weekly and I did, too, even into young adulthood when the choice was actually mine to make. I read a giant book about saints in high school because I wanted to. I was very active in my college's Newman Center and I took a really awesome history class on Christian Thought, which I still have the notes from tucked away somewhere with my Bible. That class probably opened my mind enough to make me take a deeper look at Catholicism (it was taught by a very Catholic professor, by the way, who was also active with the Newman Center).
I've also toyed with the idea of switching to Unitarian, but I honestly just don't feel like making a major commitment to any religion right now. Plus part of me likes the tradition and familiarity. I'm still pissed off about them changing a bunch of the responses. I wonder if that's how people felt back when they changed it from being in Latin.
I have to make the decision to send Nora to "church school" or not next year and I figure I'll probably commit to it through third grade, which is truthfully just so my mom can have the joy of Nora in a first communion dress. If Nora wants to keep it up after that, I'll let it be her choice. Henry will be starting up by then anyway so I'm stuck for at least six years. I can't help but think of it as yet another thing I'm stuck carting the kids to.
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Ooo, I loved my Newman Center. I still miss being in the choir there.
I haven't been to Mass since... Christmas, I think! mostly because J still works Sundays and it's just TOO ridiculous trying to go with two small children in my sole charge. Same with Sam going to, yeah "church school" (WHAT'S wrong with calling it CCD?)-- I tried enrolling him this year, but it just didn't happen. I definitely want him in the communion class in a couple years, but meanwhile.... The PREschool actually is in the regular Catholic school attached to the church, so Maddie's got her church school built in for now. And actually, I'm getting kind of frustrated with our public school, so I've considered putting and/or keeping both of them in the Catholic school for elementary school in future years-- I'll give the public school one more year. I have a possible post about that coming up.
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Religion ranting aside - there's a version of that prayer done by Sarah McLaughlan that you'd probably like. :)
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My ideas on heaven vs. hell vs. whatever, and judgement, are... hard to describe now that I'm trying to do so. Much more ethereal? First of all, my concept of God is bigger than the old-man-in-the-sky picture, so it's not like Someone scrutinizing my every move. It's more... God IS. It's (He's, She's, They're, whatever) the underlying Order of the Universe, and It's a Force of Being, Creation, ISness, and-- separating my impressions from more indifferent impressions-- LOVE. Being the best person you can be, the best YOU you can be-- it's getting in touch with this ISness, allowing It to work through you. The more you fight and/or deny this connection, the farther you get from the Source of true life and joy and love-- so you create your own hell, basically, the hell of being forever separated from this source of Being. God doesn't want anyone lost, but people get themselves lost.
That was part of what I was trying to get across in this post, too-- that there are many kinds of spirituality, but too many times people see it in the extremes-- there's the fundamentalist pious You-Must-Follow-The-Law-to-the-Letter types, and there's the atheists who think this sort of thinking represents all religion. But what about Eastern religions? What about liberals in Western religions? What about the millions, perhaps billions, of people who think a billions-of-years-old universe that uses evolution and natural selection CAN coexist with the concept of a Creator God-- it's just a different kind of Creating than the literal interpretation the Creationists have in their heads?
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