Entry tags:
On Being a Bad Catholic
All the New Pope* chatter this afternoon suddenly brought to light exactly how odd I am, from a religious perspective. Well, not SUDDENLY-- I KNOW I'm odd from a religious perspective, but it really stuck out today. On one hand you have your non-Catholics-- no, actually more ANTI-Catholics, the ones who see times like this as merely an opportunity for lots of snark. On the other hand you have the devout Catholics, the REALLY INVOLVED ONES, the ones who post how they're praying for the smooth transition on Facebook.
And then there's me, mildly interested but not feeling hugely at stake. And then I read he's going by the name of Francis, and I smile. This is a good sign to me. I feel positive about this. I want to share my pleasure, and I do so, but then I suddenly wonder, "What DO people THINK? How can they get me straight in their heads? Here I am preaching Gay Rights one minute, and now suddenly I'm talking about the New Pope in a serious, positive, non-snarky way? Whose side am I on?" Well, I'm genuinely sorry for your confusion. Sorry because that dualistic way of seeing things... well, it's not me. And you're missing out on loveliness that way.
I am, if you didn't know, a Bad Catholic. Not a LAPSED Catholic. Not a FORMER Catholic. A real, practicing Catholic who isn't quite as Catholic as many people who ARE Good Catholics would think I ought to be. I've always figured my actual beliefs run more Unitarian Universalist, but I'm still most comfortable just being Catholic, so I'm not about to change. There's always preaching going on about "Cafeteria Catholics"-- you CAN'T, they say, pick and choose what you LIKE and DON'T like about the Church's teachings, you gotta take it all, good and bad, if you want to consider yourself a True Believer. Well, I guess I AM a Cafeteria Catholic, and I'll start by being choosy about that whole concept. There's a DIFFERENCE between choosing the doctrines you want to believe in based on your own desires-- "Jesus says to love my enemies, but that's too hard, so I won't" or of course "Adultery is wrong, but I totally AM going to run off with my favorite actor, so there" not that I'd ever contemplate such a thing-- and questioning and rejecting doctrines from an objective standpoint that maybe ought to actually be CHANGED, without rejecting the teachings of Christ. What, if we'd lived in Galileo's time, we were all supposed to reject his discoveries just because the Church did? No, luckily, that was a stand the Church DID eventually change its mind about, and it was because enough people kept questioning it. I am for questioning, protesting, pushing for change in the Church. And I suppose that makes me a heretic. But I can be a heretic and still be a Believer.
But that seems to be a rare state-- or, at least, not enough people who feel that way are willing to speak up about it. You either get Right-Wing You're-all-going-to-Hell-ers or Atheist Religion-is-the-root-of-all-Evil types. They're the loud ones, and they're tricking everyone into thinking they're the only two ways to believe. But there are lots of kinds of belief, and lots of kinds of spirituality, even within religions, even within denominations. I AM a Catholic, even though I don't agree with all other Catholics on every spiritual or religious issue. People judge people, think they know what they believe when they hear the labels, based on what other people with those labels have said or done. I mean, heck, the Church of England was founded because Henry VIII was the worst Cafeteria Catholic of all time-- "Hey, whaddya mean I can't just keep getting rid of my wives when I don't want them anymore? That's it, I'm making my OWN church"-- but that doesn't mean all C of E followers are dumping spouses left and right.
What I'm getting to is this: if you really want to know what I believe, why I consider myself a Christian and a Catholic, let's look at why today's announcement of a Pope Named Francis made me smile:
Because this is the sort of man St. Francis of Assisi was. How can that not make you smile? And more personally, more importantly, there's this, the Prayer of St. Francis:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
That prayer, right there-- whether or not it was really written by St. Francis-- sums up why I am a Christian. That's my spiritual mission statement. That's my personal goal, who I want to BE. I try to live by those words, to live FOR those words.
So let others argue. This is what being a true Christian means to me.
---
*It's like New Coke, but less beverage-like.
And then there's me, mildly interested but not feeling hugely at stake. And then I read he's going by the name of Francis, and I smile. This is a good sign to me. I feel positive about this. I want to share my pleasure, and I do so, but then I suddenly wonder, "What DO people THINK? How can they get me straight in their heads? Here I am preaching Gay Rights one minute, and now suddenly I'm talking about the New Pope in a serious, positive, non-snarky way? Whose side am I on?" Well, I'm genuinely sorry for your confusion. Sorry because that dualistic way of seeing things... well, it's not me. And you're missing out on loveliness that way.
I am, if you didn't know, a Bad Catholic. Not a LAPSED Catholic. Not a FORMER Catholic. A real, practicing Catholic who isn't quite as Catholic as many people who ARE Good Catholics would think I ought to be. I've always figured my actual beliefs run more Unitarian Universalist, but I'm still most comfortable just being Catholic, so I'm not about to change. There's always preaching going on about "Cafeteria Catholics"-- you CAN'T, they say, pick and choose what you LIKE and DON'T like about the Church's teachings, you gotta take it all, good and bad, if you want to consider yourself a True Believer. Well, I guess I AM a Cafeteria Catholic, and I'll start by being choosy about that whole concept. There's a DIFFERENCE between choosing the doctrines you want to believe in based on your own desires-- "Jesus says to love my enemies, but that's too hard, so I won't" or of course "Adultery is wrong, but I totally AM going to run off with my favorite actor, so there" not that I'd ever contemplate such a thing-- and questioning and rejecting doctrines from an objective standpoint that maybe ought to actually be CHANGED, without rejecting the teachings of Christ. What, if we'd lived in Galileo's time, we were all supposed to reject his discoveries just because the Church did? No, luckily, that was a stand the Church DID eventually change its mind about, and it was because enough people kept questioning it. I am for questioning, protesting, pushing for change in the Church. And I suppose that makes me a heretic. But I can be a heretic and still be a Believer.
But that seems to be a rare state-- or, at least, not enough people who feel that way are willing to speak up about it. You either get Right-Wing You're-all-going-to-Hell-ers or Atheist Religion-is-the-root-of-all-Evil types. They're the loud ones, and they're tricking everyone into thinking they're the only two ways to believe. But there are lots of kinds of belief, and lots of kinds of spirituality, even within religions, even within denominations. I AM a Catholic, even though I don't agree with all other Catholics on every spiritual or religious issue. People judge people, think they know what they believe when they hear the labels, based on what other people with those labels have said or done. I mean, heck, the Church of England was founded because Henry VIII was the worst Cafeteria Catholic of all time-- "Hey, whaddya mean I can't just keep getting rid of my wives when I don't want them anymore? That's it, I'm making my OWN church"-- but that doesn't mean all C of E followers are dumping spouses left and right.
What I'm getting to is this: if you really want to know what I believe, why I consider myself a Christian and a Catholic, let's look at why today's announcement of a Pope Named Francis made me smile:
Because this is the sort of man St. Francis of Assisi was. How can that not make you smile? And more personally, more importantly, there's this, the Prayer of St. Francis:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
That prayer, right there-- whether or not it was really written by St. Francis-- sums up why I am a Christian. That's my spiritual mission statement. That's my personal goal, who I want to BE. I try to live by those words, to live FOR those words.
So let others argue. This is what being a true Christian means to me.
---
*It's like New Coke, but less beverage-like.