So, apparently I can't comment if I try to identify myself; I can only comment anonymously. I'm Kim from www.kaippersbach.blogspot.com. (Is there some mutual antipathy between blogger and live journal? Apparently we can't be friends!)
(Just so you know, I have tried to comment on previous posts, but have given up after long, eloquent posts disappeared into the ether. It's too bad, because I was very wise!)
You, as usual, have spoken the truth. I know very well how easy it is to shut down the "I want" faculty; it's a symptom of motherhood, I think; we just get so used to putting our own needs last. Great for developing selflessness, but on the other hand you can't nurture others if your own well is dry.
I also think we shut down our desire to write out of pure terror. At least, I do. The argument in my head goes something like "writing is so integral to my self-image that it would be devastating to discover that I'm no good at it. Far better to never do it at all than to do it and fail." Which makes no sense, but sounds good to my terrified ego.
Can I offer advice I wish someone had given me 20 years ago? Don't rely on your own motivation. Join something that makes you write. A writing group, a course—something that involves other people expecting you to produce writing, whether they critique it or not. I've discovered that the best way to deal with the Sloth aspect of my personality is to trick myself into doing things. Sign up for stuff before you can talk yourself out of it. (It's the only way I can do exercise!) And it's the only thing that seems to work to get me to write—though after a few years of courses and conferences, I've almost got myself a writing habit. But I still need my writer friends to email me and demand to know what I've accomplished this week. The whole writing as a solitary pursuit is a load of night soil. :)
PS: Zentangles? Amazing! I need to start doing this! (It's pretty much what I do all the time anyway, calling it doodling, but this is way more artistic!)
no subject
(Just so you know, I have tried to comment on previous posts, but have given up after long, eloquent posts disappeared into the ether. It's too bad, because I was very wise!)
You, as usual, have spoken the truth. I know very well how easy it is to shut down the "I want" faculty; it's a symptom of motherhood, I think; we just get so used to putting our own needs last. Great for developing selflessness, but on the other hand you can't nurture others if your own well is dry.
I also think we shut down our desire to write out of pure terror. At least, I do. The argument in my head goes something like "writing is so integral to my self-image that it would be devastating to discover that I'm no good at it. Far better to never do it at all than to do it and fail." Which makes no sense, but sounds good to my terrified ego.
Can I offer advice I wish someone had given me 20 years ago? Don't rely on your own motivation. Join something that makes you write. A writing group, a course—something that involves other people expecting you to produce writing, whether they critique it or not. I've discovered that the best way to deal with the Sloth aspect of my personality is to trick myself into doing things. Sign up for stuff before you can talk yourself out of it. (It's the only way I can do exercise!) And it's the only thing that seems to work to get me to write—though after a few years of courses and conferences, I've almost got myself a writing habit. But I still need my writer friends to email me and demand to know what I've accomplished this week. The whole writing as a solitary pursuit is a load of night soil. :)
PS: Zentangles? Amazing! I need to start doing this! (It's pretty much what I do all the time anyway, calling it doodling, but this is way more artistic!)