ext_144497 ([identity profile] rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] rockinlibrarian 2014-05-18 07:03 pm (UTC)

Looking at myself and my own failings, that whole being-exclusionary-to-protect-your-own-ego theory seems spot on! I can fall in the pit of congratulating myself and admit that I've gotten much BETTER about it over the course of my life (but no, I still do it about some things, like people who claim to love Martin but only because he was in Sherlock-- they are FALSE! They cannot possibly love him the way I love him! They only love that stupid show!), but particularly I remember when I was a kid trying to brush off when other kids said they loved writing or wanted to be a professional writer when they grew up-- that was MY SCHTICK! And now it's interesting to me that there are other grownups who still feel that way, that other people's successes in writing are unfair, when I seem to have gotten over that feeling, maybe because I'm more understanding that everyone's stories are unique and nobody's going to steal my stories away from me (now if I could only figure out what my stories ARE, but that's another issue). Yeah, it's definitely "I've got all this knowledge! Wait... you might know something different than me about this topic? YOU MUST BE FAKING IT BECAUSE I AM THE SMARTEST!" I AM better than I used to be, because just thinking about it I feel a mingling of relief and embarrassment-- complete RECOGNITION, but I've let it go and it feels good to know that!

As for Wedge, I mostly just laughed and wished I could introduce you to Jen!

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