ext_144497 ([identity profile] rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] rockinlibrarian 2012-10-23 08:40 pm (UTC)

It's more their age, they're at a very needy age. Technically, I could make more of an effort to bring my interests to them, beyond just obediently putting Beatles music on, having already introduced them to the Yellow Submarine movie (which they love). I was just talking with my therapist today about how I should try doing OTHER creative things besides (or in addition to) writing for awhile again, and how the kids are always asking to paint, but if we ALL PAINTED TOGETHER it would be, you know, killing-two-birds-with-one-stone. Too often I just feel like "Please go away, I don't want to be a mom," but I AM, and they ARE my responsibility and they DO need me, especially my son who acts up for attention. As I keep reminding myself, both Lois Lowry and Diana Wynne Jones didn't start writing seriously until their children were in college, and then they both went on to be both prolific and acclaimed. It's all about stages of ones life. I've been really confused about my identity lately, basically, and like you said, "writer" is IN there but it's not ALL I am, and my troubles come from refusing to accept that this may be a fallow period and since I'm so tied up in that identity it makes me feel like a failure across the board. But really I just need to learn to LIVE in the life I'm in right now.

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