coming straight to this next entry from reading about being a nine, I had to chuckle at the irony of your second to last sentence, about "having a unique voice that is needed." Cause that seems a very nine-ish way to look at it (from my five minutes of study)--defining yourself by the outside. Maybe you just need to need your own voice? (Have you ever read any Annie Dillard? You might enjoy Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. I find it very inspiring, in a life lived small but intently way).

I hope this mood passes for you! Maybe you could come to kidlitcon? there is nothing like making a person feel more alive than being surronded by bloggers all talking furiously about books and blogging!